Falling
by Greenabsinthia
Summary: Sookie decides to take control of her life and come to terms with everything that's happened to her. How will Sookie and Eric deal with their issues? The story takes place after "From Dead to Worse". Rated M for language and mature contents.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first fanfic. While I wrote this chapter I listened to "Bodies" by Drowning Pool, it kind of sets the mood. Thank you txone for all the advice you've given me the past few days and for being my beta. Thanks Zigster for encouraging me when I first contacted you.

Disclaimer: All of the characters belong to Charlaine Harris.

**Chapter 1**

The sun had just set; I could feel Eric through the Bond. I was running frantically around my bedroom, tears streaming down my cheeks, throwing clothes and shoes everywhere trying to pack as much as possible into two duffle bags.

Apparently Amelia had heard the commotion. She knocked on the door and entered, without waiting for me to answer I might add. _How rude!_

"Sookie, what on the Goddess's green Earth are you doing?" Being the loud broadcaster she is, I could hear and feel all the thoughts and emotions that were going through her, when she saw the state of disarray my bedroom and I myself were in. _Oh sweet Mother of…what is wrong with her? She looks just awful! Did somebody attack her again? Please please let her be alright!!_ I put my shields up.

"I'm leaving! I've had it!" I yelled.

"Honey, what's going on? Sookie, please sit down for a minute and talk to me." She pleaded, as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

At that moment I came across the cranberry coloured coat Eric had bought me after he had recovered from the witch's curse. Although it had been a while since I'd ingested vampire blood, I still had quite a bit of extra strength in me. All the rage, anger, hurt and frustration that had been bottled up inside of me since that first night Bill walked into Merlotte's, suddenly came rushing through me. I grabbed the coat and started shredding it with my bare hands. Amelia gasped when she realized what I was doing.

I knew Eric could feel my emotional state through the Bond and I felt him push calm and reassurance through it. _Damn Blood Bond!_ I chose to ignore it, threw the coat in the trash, and went to the bathroom to get my toiletries.

Amelia was still broadcasting loudly and I couldn't keep my shields up. "Amelia for crying out loud, stop broadcasting!"

"I – I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I just don't know what's going on with you. Please tell me. Have you talked to Eric? Is that what this is about? Please put your stuff down and we'll go downstairs, get some ice cream and have us a little girl talk, what do you say? Please Sookie?"

Okay that was it, I lost it!

"You obviously did NOT hear me, Amelia! I said I'm leaving! I've had it with the supes and the supe world! Sadly that means you too since you are a witch. No offence, but I'm cutting my losses and getting the hell out of dodge!"

I grabbed my bags and keys and ran down the stairs, yanked the front door open and slammed right into a 6'4'' wall of a dead Viking. Before I had time to contemplate how bruised my butt was going to be after the fall, Eric had me in an iron tight grip and looked down at me with those smouldering blue eyes.

"Lover, did you miss me so much you couldn't wait for me to knock on the door?" He said with that unmistakable smirk on his face. Under any other circumstance, his voice and those eyes would have made my knees weak, but I didn't feel anything but contempt for him. I pushed away from him and made my way to the backdoor. I was sure he would follow me, but I didn't hear him. When I opened the door there he was, standing in front of my car. _Damn vampire speed! Can't he take a hint?_ I thought. I held my head high, walked right past him, and went to the back of my car to put the duffle bags in the trunk. I felt Eric's hands on my shoulders and I momentarily froze. I sensed that he felt confused.

"What is the matter, Lover? I could feel your agitation through the Bond even in my daytime rest." _Agitation! Agitation!_ I was about to lose it, but I tried to centre myself. I could feel his confidence slowly coming back. "Come, we must have our talk. We must come to an understanding." _Yup, his confidence was definitely on the up and up_. "And you must tell me what is the matter, Lover." That was the last straw! I snapped.

"Lover?! Lover?! I. AM. NOT. YOUR. LOVER, Eric!" I made sure to stress each word so he would get the full grasp of the situation. "Maybe I was a long time ago, but that was only for a few days and you weren't yourself, so that hardly counts! You forced me to tell you what happened between us before you remembered our time together and you showed no signs of wanting to resume our 'thing' or whatever the hell you want to call it!" My emotions were on overload. I tried not to cry and keep my composure, but it proved to be impossible.

"You told me once, you didn't like having feelings! You told me you thought the Bond made you connected to me too strongly! If you choose to use a term of endearment such as 'Lover', one would assume there were some actual feelings behind it, but since you don't like having them, that is clearly not the case!"

I was positively seething at this point, and by the look and feel of it through the Bond, so was Eric - as well as looking completely stunned at the same time. Now infuriating a 1000+ year old Viking vampire is easy, but making him stunned at the same time, that takes some skill.

Amelia had without a doubt heard my yelling and was now standing on the back porch looking at me and Eric, with an even more stunned expression plastered across her face. I didn't care. The anger was flowing through me like a rapid river.

I could tell Eric was about to speak his mind, but I wanted to get all of this out of my system and I frankly didn't give a hoot what he wanted to say.

"I haven't heard from you in months, Eric! Months! I know you've been busy with the takeover and de Castro, but that's no excuse. You could have called me, texted me or even written a goddamn letter, but you didn't! You didn't give a damn about me or about how I felt during all this time! Did you expect I would just welcome you with open arms and spread my legs for you once you decided to haul your ass over here?! You did, didn't you?!"

Eric was seriously pissed off now, fangs down and everything. "Sookie, you are the most conceited…" he began with a snarl. I heard somebody approach me from behind. I turned around to see who, or probably more likely, what it was. Well surprise, surprise…"Bill Compton, what the fuck are you doing here?!" I spat at him. Bill looked utterly flabbergasted (thank you word-of-the-day calendar). As if my night wasn't bad enough, I now had to deal with my lovesick ex boyfriend as well.

"Sookie, your language! What has gotten into you?"

"I don't give a damn what you think about my language, Bill! Now answer me, what the fuck are you doing here?!"

"Well I – I heard shouting coming from the vicinity of your house, so I came to investigate. I thought you might be in need of my assistance."

_What an obnoxious idiot_ I thought. "Well you can do all the investigating you want, but do it from your own damn side of the cemetery! And guess what you worthless piece of dead shit? I DO NOT NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE! I DO NOT NEED YOU!"

"Sookie please! I love you. Come with me. Let me help you. Oh dear God did he hurt you?" Bill was practically begging me. Hell if Eric and Amelia hadn't been there, he would probably have gone down on his knees begging me to come with him.

"Yes Bill he hurt me, but not physically, which is more than I can say for you!" Bill bowed his head in defeat and I heard a loud growl come from Eric, heck it was almost his Viking battle cry.

"Bill you get off my damn property and you do it now! Or I'll stake your ass like I did Lorena's, and trust me, I won't show you the same kindness I did her. I'll make sure your final death will be slow and painful!" I picked up a branch from the ground and started to walk towards him. Right then and there I heard a loud 'pop' and my cousin, fairy Godmother, and supe Claudine was there in all her glory, wearing only a light cream and orchid coloured chemise PJ set.

Eric and Bill instantly snapped out of whatever state they were and slowly advanced towards Claudine. Vampires can't be around fairies. Fairy blood is apparently some great aphrodisiac to the life challenged.

"Okay the two members of the fang gang please back away." She said with a grin on her face. "Now, my lovely cousin you seem distressed." _Oh no she didn't!_

"You damn right I'm distressed! Get out of here before you turn into dinner. And I don't need your help!" She looked at me with tears in her eyes and went over to Amelia, who, for the last 15 minutes or so, had remained silent and was sitting on the steps quietly sobbing. Claudine put her arms around her and 'popped' both of them out of there.

Bill was standing a few feet from me, still in his fairy induced trance. With vampire speed, Eric had me in his arms again. He bent down to kiss me. Before his lips met mine, I did something I still regret to this day. I was wearing silver rings on each hand – I put a hand on each side of his face and pushed him away. Eric let out a pained throated growl. I could smell the putrid stench of burning flesh. "GET OFF OF ME!" I screamed.

I ran to my car, got in and sped down Hummingbird Road. Before I got to the main road I looked in the rear view mirror. Eric and Bill were still standing there as I drove away into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I could still smell Eric's burning flesh. The stench made my stomach turn. I looked at my hands and saw tiny specks of burned skin on the silver rings. Before I could think I ripped the rings off of my fingers, leaving bloody scrapes on each finger in the process. I pulled over, tossed the rings out the window and continued to drive down the road. Rage coursing through my veins.

Apparently Eric attempted to open the Bond completely and thus enabling me to tell everything that was going through his mind at the moment – the primary emotions being confusion, rage and utter despair. As far as I was concerned he had no right to feel any of them. I tried to the best of my ability to close the Bond from my end. He felt it immediately. At that very moment my cell phone started ringing and for some reason, curiosity maybe (you know what killed the cat), I pulled the device out of my pant pocket. Of course it was Eric. I ignored the call and threw the phone on the passenger seat next to me.

I couldn't focus on the road. Every single thought, event, action and emotion I'd been witness to or felt the last couple of years were crashing down on me. Since the takeover and that night Eric walked into Merlotte's to, officially, offer the King's protection, I hadn't seen or heard anything from him. Not even Pam had said anything other than he was busy with de Castro and his entourage and that, considering the circumstances, Eric was well.

The Bond was taking its toll on me too. I didn't have the same control over it like I do my telepathic abilities. I couldn't completely block it. I'd of course tried several times, but with very little success. The best I could do was to suppress it enough so it became a faint hum, but I could still feel Eric. Apparently Eric was more successful in his endeavours with regards to control over the Bond. Some nights all of the stress, and with it anger, he was going through overwhelmed me. Other nights he completely blocked me out. On different nights I would feel happiness and pleasure slipping through. During the day when Eric was asleep, it was a calming sensation I felt. All in all it was like PMS-ing 24/7 for months on end.

That fateful day I had the lunch and early dinner shift at Merlotte's. All day I had been pondering the whole Eric situation and had come to the conclusion that it was time to take action…_I am woman hear me roar!_...I just wanted to get everything settled between us, one way or the other. No more loose ends.

Since Amelia was home, the first thing I did was to go to the privacy of my own bedroom. I really didn't want Amelia listening in, not that she would, but just in case. I just wanted the conversation to be over and done with – I didn't even change out of my uniform. I just sat down on the edge of the bed, tried to get a feel through the Bond, but didn't get anything but the usual from it. That had to be a good sign I thought. I took a deep breath and dialled Eric's number. I was prepared to maybe deal with an irritable, pissed off vampire, but not the very seductive voice of a woman answering his cell phone! A voice that wasn't Pam's, not that she would ever answer his cell.

"Sheriff Northman's phone. What might I help you with?"

"Ugh!"

I hung up the phone and started hyperventilating. I probably even blacked out. When I came to, a sense of determination washed over me and I heard Gran's voice in my head.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, my dear girl."

All hell broke loose after that!

_Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!_

_Hell hath no fury…_

_HELL. HATH. NO. FURY. LIKE. A. WOMAN. SCORNED!_

Those words became a mantra to me as I drove. Through my haze I'd heard my phone ring on and off, followed by the annoying '_beeps_', indicating I'd received a text message. I didn't pay much attention to it or the road for that matter.

It occurred to me I didn't know where I was or how much time had passed since I'd left the house and Eric. As I looked to the horizon I could see the sky slowly becoming brighter. _Well I guess there is something positive about this whole fucked up situation. The sun is raising ergo no vampires_. I thought blatantly.

A fit of rage suddenly came through me – my own or Eric's I had no idea – I floored the gas pedal. The next thing I knew my car was flying through the air, flipping over multiple times. And then everything went black.

**A week later**

_Beep…beep…beep…beep…beep…_My eyes fluttered…_beep…beep…beep…_ _What was that infernal sound?_ When I was able to see through my drug clouded eyes, I was greeted by a smiling elderly nurse who was writing down, what I assumed to be, my stats. _Oh great I'm in the hospital…again!_

"Well good afternoon Dear. It's nice to see you're finally among the living again. You got some nasty bumps on your head and a few bruises, but nothing too serious. The doctor will be in to see you soon and he'll fill you in on what happened. Oh, before I forget, my name is Nurse Lang, but you can call me Loretta."

Her voice was soothing. She put my file back in the holder on the wall and proceeded to tell me to press the red button on the wall if I needed anything and then she left. I tried to get a read on her before she went out the room, but I couldn't get a clear image from her. My head was hurting something awful. That, along with feeling dazed from the drugs they'd obviously given me, I couldn't focus on anything.

Okay so I was in the hospital that much I knew, but I had no idea where I was or what had happened to me. I looked around the hospital room, trying to find some clue as to where I was. Of course no such luck.

The room was really nice. The walls were a soft peach colour and all the furniture was kept in a creamy white. From the looks of it, the room was definitely a private suite…_wait my insurance doesn't cover that. It must be some kind of mistake…_before I could finish my next thought there was a knock on the door. A middle aged, slightly grey haired, man walked in. _Must be the doctor_ I thought.

I tried to sit up, but I felt dizzy and everything hurt real bad. I slumped back down on my pillow. I guess the doctor saw me struggling, he came over to the right side of my bed and pressed a button on some kind of remote control and the upper part of the bed was slowly elevated.

"There you go Miss." He said and smiled at me. I was more awake at this point, which made him easier to read and it all came out human and, _thank the Lord_, no weird shit was going through his mind. I tried to smile back but like everything else, that hurt too.

"My name is Dr. Balleby, Miss Stackhouse. Now I'm sure Nurse Lang has already told you nothing serious has happened to you, except for quite a few bumps and bruises. All of your tests came back clear. The x-rays and scans all looked good, no broken bones. However…" I held up a hand, indicating him to stop. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. The good doctor went over to my side table, poured me a glass of water and handed it to me. I was a bit shaky, but managed to take a few sips without spilling the content all over myself.

"Where am I?" I whispered. _Dang even my throat hurts_.

"You're at the hospital in Shreveport, Miss Stackhouse. You were found by the side of your car just outside of San Antonio, Texas. Lucky for you, you weren't in the car. From what the accident report said, your car looked like a crushed soda can. The police found your cell phone and handbag close to you, which is how the staff got in touch with your family and friends."

I just let him talk. I was trying to figure out how I got from San Antonio to Shreveport. "Dr. Balleby, why am I in Shreveport and not San Antonio?"

"Ah yes, well like I said, the hospital staff got the number from your cell phone and called the person who seemed to have been most in contact with you. " He said and looked through his papers. "A Mr. Eric Northman." My eyes widened. _This qualifies as an oh-shit-moment_. I thought as the memories of what happened that night came back.

"It looks like Mr. Northman arranged for you to be moved here once you were stabile." The doctor continued.

By now tears were streaming down my face.

"Now as I was trying to say before, your tests and scans look fine, but you've been unconscious for a week. You were awake for a few minutes a couple of days ago, but other than that you've pretty much been dead to the world."

_What is it with these hospital people and dead jokes?_

"I would like to keep you here for at least a few days to monitor your progress. I'm not overly concerned, considering you didn't sustain any serious damages. It is a bit unusual that you've been out for so long. However, it is most likely your body reacting to the trauma and it's telling you that you need to rest." He smiled at me again and handed me a kleenex.

"Why am I in this private room? I'm sure my insurance doesn't cover private rooms." I said sobbing.

"Ah yes…" he replied. "Mr. Northman took care of that too and insisted you only be dealt with by the hospital's top specialists. I take it he is your boyfriend or fiancé?"

All the rage I had felt a week ago came back with a vengeance.

"NO HE IS NOT!" I tried yelling, but it merely came out as a pathetic whimper.

"Dr. balleby, I would like to be moved to an ordinary room and whatever Mr. Northman has already paid I want that to be transferred back to his bank account. Whatever expenses my medical insurance doesn't cover I'll pay for myself." I attempted to sound calm and collected, I'm not sure the doctor bought it. He looked at me with a disconcerting glare and proceeded to tell me that Eric had insisted and wouldn't take no for an answer when he was told there was no need for specialists and that regular doctors were more than capable of taking care of me.

_So this was Eric's way of sneaking back into my good graces? Well he can just go stake himself! _I screamed inside my head.

"Please, I'm sure there are people more deserving than me of this room. Like you said there is really nothing seriously wrong with me other than a few bruises. And I can rest just as well in a normal room as I can here. So please, just put me in another room and transfer the money back to Mr. Northman's account."

"You're right Miss Stackhouse. I'll see it get taken care of right away." _I was starting to like this guy_. He got up and walked to the door. "Just get some rest Miss. You have some very anxious friends wanting to visit with you." With that he left the room.

_Oh hell no! Another oh-shit-moment! I don't want to see anybody; I just woke up damn it!_

The sun was still up so I was sure it wasn't a vampire coming to see me. A minute later Amelia and Claudine stormed through the door. Amelia practically flung herself at me.

"Ugh…'melia!"

"Oh Goddess! Sookie, I'm so sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I'm just so happy to see you're awake. I was so scared! We were ALL so scared! Especially Eric. We didn't know where you were! Then Eric called and told us you were in a car crash and in the hospital in Texas! I just – I just can't tell you how happy I am you're alright!"

Claudine was standing at the foot of my bed with a resigned, yet worried expression plastered on her face.

"Amelia stop. Just stop!" She sat up and looked at me. I took a deep breath to make the lump in my throat go away. "I meant what I said at the house. Nothing has changed. Me being here in the hospital is just another bump in the road. I'm sorry, but please leave. Just leave me alone!" My Gran would have slapped me silly, treating a friend like that.

Amelia started crying hysterically. Claudine did the same thing as she did at the house a week ago. She put her arms around Amelia, but instead of 'popping' them out of there she just pulled Amelia closer and slowly rocked her. If looks could kill, the way Claudine looked at me would surely have been my end. I just turned my head and looked out the window.

Not long after Nurse Lang and an orderly came into my room and began to pack up my things and myself. The orderly motioned for Amelia and Claudine to step aside and started to roll me out of the room.

"Sookie, where are they taking you?" The girls asked in unison, looking perplexed.

I didn't answer them. Nurse Lang took in my silence and decided to answer on my behalf.

"Miss Stackhouse has requested to be moved to a regular room and give this one to somebody who needs it more."

"But Sookie, Eric's taken care of everything you don't need to worry about anything Sweetie."

"Amelia! For the love of God just LEAVE! I don't owe you or anybody an explanation. And I will NEVER put myself in a position where I will owe anybody anything ever again! Especially Eric Northman! I can take care of myself."

The orderly rolled me down the hall and into the elevator. Apparently Claudine and Amelia weren't leaving.

For some reason there are always mirrors in elevators. That's when I first saw my face after the accident…_Sweet Jesus, Shepherd of Judae What the hell happened to you Sookie? Same old story I guess, you always end up in the hospital girl! Bad karma that's what it is! _I thought to myself. It might not have been a vamp or any other supe who put me in the hospital this time – well I wasn't absolutely 100% sure, but I was speeding so I guess this one was on me. Supes or no supes I was just plain bad to be around. Apparently Amelia and Claudine didn't understand this and I had to do something drastic to get them to understand. I was out of the elevator by then and Nurse Lang was getting me situated in my room.

"Now girls, Miss Sookie here needs her rest. You can come back later to visit with her." The nurse said with some authority in her voice, but mostly she just sounded concerned. Amelia and Claudine just nodded and made their way to the door. Before they reached the door I called out to them. Amelia was practically beaming. I could hear from her thoughts that she thought I'd changed my mind. Claudine however, still looked like she wanted to rip me a new one.

"Amelia please vacate my house as soon as possible and be gone before I get back."

She started crying again. I couldn't blame here. She was so much more than a roomie. Well, ex-roomie now. I loved her like a sister. I hated to hurt her, but she needed to get away from me before she ended up dead, or worse, a vampire.

"Claudine, I no longer consider you kin. You are no longer obliged to carry out any task you have been given involving my person." I had no clue how you relieve a fairy of her duties, but I figured that would suffice.

Claudine started to cry as well. I love my cousin, but she was in danger too, especially with vampires around.

_Two down, more to come._ I was sure of that. I closed my eyes.

"The two of you just leave and do not come back!" I said, while trying to block out Amelia, which was hard considering I was still in serious pain. Nurse Lang had offered me some pain meds earlier, I refused, needing my head clear.

I heard them leave, but apparently Amelia felt the need to say something.

"What should we tell Eric?"

"Tell him to go fuck himself!"

With that they left and I fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Well here is the next chapter. It's an EPOV. Sorry it took so long, but a certain Viking didn't want to play nice.

A little extra note for the previous chapter:

"_Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned_" is from a William Congreve play called _The Mourning Bride_. It usually appears in the form I've mention, but the correct quote is actually "_Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned_" (Perez in Act 3, Scene 2)

Thanks to the delectable lovelies of the Sookieverse for being the awesome women that they are. Txone, my beta and rock – you're the best!

I don't own any of the characters from the SVM or True Blood, they all belong to Ms. Harris and HBO.

*******

**Chapter 3**

She looked so fragile laying there in the hospital bed. She might not have sustained severe injuries, yet it was easy to see how much the whole ordeal had taken its toll on her. Not just the accident, but the events leading up to it as well.

She no longer had the serene sylph-like expression on her face, maybe the amount of vampire blood she had ingested in the past had played a part in those features, but now, now she looked old and weary of life.

I know all about the weariness life can bring. In my 1000 years on this Earth, the only things that gave me any joy and pleasure, were my business, my child Pam, and the tiny little battered-up human laying in the bed before me. My Sookie.

She didn't look old as in grey and wrinkled. It was her Soul that had grown old over the course of a week, maybe even longer. Her body mirrored that. Her jaw was clenched, her fists the same. Her whole body was ridged. She had lost a lot of weight, which was amplified by the dark circles under her eyes and red eye lids. _She must have been crying_.

The truth of it all was that she was far from fragile. She was a warrior, much like I was. Any sane normal human would have either run away or died if they had experienced a mere fraction of what she had gone through in her short life, especially the last couple of years. _All because we vampires had fucking decided to go public. To what use?_ But Sookie, she stayed and fought for her own life, for her friends, people she hardly knew, and for people she loved. I was among the creatures in one of those groups. I had to be. _I should have staked Compton the second he brought her into my life. _Bill had said he would die for her. At this point, I would gladly lay my life down for her if it meant Sookie would go back to being herself, but I wouldn't do it. I am too selfish in my need to have her in my life to ever let her go.

Sookie was right; I didn't have the right to call her my Lover. I didn't deserve such an honour. She was right; she was not mine. She might be my Bonded, but she had not given herself to me freely. I can have anything or anybody in the world; except for the only person I desire most of all. It is not just lust I feel for her. No, that would not suffice. It is an indefinable yearning, rooted deep within the core of my undead Soul. Some might call it love, but that is too weak a definition.

Everybody said I had been cursed by Hallow, but I now see her spell as a blessing. Had it not been for her, I would never have spent those nights with Sookie at her house. I admit I might not have believed her when she first told me we had spent hours worshipping each others' bodies during that time. I thought she told me that because it was what she thought I wanted to hear. She had never lied to me. She would never lie to me. I forced her to tell me what had happened. I forced her into the Bond, but for her own sake. I didn't deserve her. But I am too selfish to let her go.

I revelled in the Bond. Truthfully, it is the only thing that has kept me sane during the past few months. Knowing once that retarded pathetic excuse for a monarch, de Castro had left, I would go to her. As much as I pride myself in not having feelings, I would not be able to hide them from her. As far as coming to an understanding between us, well it didn't fucking matter – I just needed her to know how I felt. She was the first thing I thought of when I woke and the last thing I thought of before I died for the day. Whenever I had a free moment, I would think about her. _One day she would be the fucking final death of me_.

The memories of our time together would flicker across my mind – it consumed me and I knew she felt it too.

I was not sure exactly how much she could feel through our Bond. I tried to keep my emotions to a minimum, but due to de Castro's constant bickering, Victor and Sandy's snooping and surveillance, I had a hard time not being affected by their scrutiny. _If it had only been my own fangs on the line, I would have fought the bastard. Fucking being outnumbered, it would have been a glorious final death – Sookie, Pam and the rest of my retinue's lives depended on me and my actions. No time for pride – I would get my fucking revenge – I'll enjoy slowly bleeding all of them dry – I would prolong their demise…_

She stirred and I was brought out of my contemplations. Had I needed to breathe, I would have gasped for air. She was obviously still in some pain. The frown on her brow when she moved around attested to that.

I sat down on a chair next to her, took her small hand in my large one and gently stroked the back of it with my thumb – trying to sooth her. The difference in the size of our hands was astounding and briefly made me think of her frailty.

She continued to move.

I placed my other hand on her forehead, mimicking the motion of my other thumb, gently massaging her third eye.

I didn't try to push any reassuring feelings to her through the Bond. Considering what had taken place a week ago, it would not serve a purpose to aggravate her.

Even in her current state she was still the most beautiful creature I had ever laid my eyes on. Not even Freja could compare.

_Men have fought countless battles over such beauty._ I thought fondly.

I felt her tense up under my touch and her eyes flickered. I put my cheek against her cheek close to her ear.

"Sookie, wake up." I whispered.

It was barely audible, but I knew she heard me. I pulled my head a little away from her so she could see me.

She slowly opened her eyes. It took some time for her to adjust to the lights in the room. _Why had I bothered turning on the lights? I didn't need them._

"Sookie?"

She finally registered my presence and flinched at the sight of me as if I had slapped her across the face. She pulled her hand from mine, and turned to lie on her side facing away from me. Still in her weakened state she was strong enough to turn from me. She may have acted like a spoiled child in the past, but I loved her wilfulness. _What a fucking turn-on it was._

I did not want to push her too much, yet she needed to understand that I would not stand for her fucking insolent behaviour. I made my way to the other side of the bed, kneeling down so I would be more at her level. I brushed a stray lock of hair away from her forehead. This time she didn't flinch or move. She was immobile. She was shutting me out.

"Look at me Sookie!" I said with a raised demanding voice.

Nothing happened.

"If you insist on acting like a child, the least you can do is listen to me. I do not know what happened to you that night. What set you off? Honestly, it was disturbing and disconcerting. Not even the witch or the fairy knew what happened to put you in such frenzy."

Still no reaction. So I said the one word I knew would make her break her concentration.

"Lover!"

Her eyes shot open and then narrowed. She was fucking starring daggers at me. I hid a slightly smug expression. _Always so fucking wilful_. She fucking closed them again and turned onto her other side. I moved to the other side of the bed right along with her.

"I know you called me that night, Lover. I do not need to explain myself to you, but if it helps you see the situation more clearly, then I will. The club was raided by the police the night before. In his infinite paranoia, Felipe wanted us to go to a safe house for the rest of the night and the following day. I left my Blackberry in the office, a big mistake on my part I admit. The next evening, before coming to you, I went to fetch it and walked into the office just as a new waitress answered your call."

There was not a chance in hell she would believe me, but it was the absolute fucking truth. She still didn't look at me. _Why won't she look at me? I need her to look at me! Give me anything Sookie. Anything! Burn my face again if that's what it takes._

I wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her so she would be forced to look at me. _No! I would not force her again! Fucking get it together Northman!_ I mentally pulled myself together.

"Now Lover, I can only assume that you have finally accepted your feelings for me and the Bond, since that is the only reason I can think of why you would react like that. It would be a great _pleasure_ to know you'd finally given in to the Bond."

I leaned closer to her.

"Were you jealous, Sookie?" I whispered with a raspy voice. _You smug idiot Northman! _

I sat back for good measure, and took a deep breath – for theatrical effect.

"Somehow, I doubt that is the only reason for your little display. We'll discuss all of this later. Right now, you need to take my blood so you can heal and get out of this hell hole."

I sat on the edge of my chair, put my wrist to my mouth and bit. The loud crunching sound from fangs penetrating skin made her shoot up in a crouching position on the bed. She looked horrified, but she was finally looking at me again. She finally spoke.

"Get the hell away from me you bastard!" She shouted.

"You have no right to be here, Northman! In case you haven't heard or noticed, you aren't paying for any of this shit! You have no right to be here, you aren't my next-of-kin, you aren't my friend and you most certainly are not my lover! You aren't anything to me! So get the fuck out of here and don't ever come back!"

She was panting from exhaustion. Her fury had taken everything out of her, but she stood fast. _My warrior Queen_.

I licked the bite wound to close it and stood to my full height. To my amazement she raised herself off the bed and stood up as well, practically towering over me. She blew me away, but I was not going to bend to her will that easily.

I took an envelope out of my back pocket and held it out to her.

"de Castro decided to pay you the money the state owes you." I said sounding businesslike.

She just grabbed it and tore it to pieces, not even pausing to look at the amount. _Fuck she just tore up $100,000! The girl had guts! _

I turned and walked out of the room. I heard I sigh heavily and slump back down on the bed. With vampire speed I was in front of her again and looked straight into her eyes.

"Do not ever think to defy me again. Do not think I will ever give up on you. And do not ever think I will give up on us."

With the same speed I left.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Txone saved my butt with this chapter and made it flow better.

Ms. Harris and HBO owns everything, I just play tricks with our beloved characters.

**Chapter 4**

After Eric left I collapsed back into my pillow. My heart was racing from pure rage; adrenaline pumping through my veins and his words echoing through my mind.

"_Do not ever think to defy me again. Do not think I will ever give up on you. And do not ever think I will give up on us."_

The words were like torture. I pulled the pillow over my head to muffle the scream I was sure was about to erupt from my throat, but it wouldn't come. I wanted to erase his voice. I wanted to scream to erase myself.

_Why won't they just leave me alone? Just forget I ever existed in the first place! I don't want anything to do with them! I just want to disappear!_

"_Do not ever think to defy me again. Do not think I will ever give up on you. And do not ever think I will give up on us." Eric Northman, get out of my head!_

I had to do something to get him out of my head. I pressed the little red button so a nurse would come. Sure enough not two minutes later a young woman entered my room. She introduced herself as Nurse Svensson. _Oh you've got to be kidding me! A Swedish name! Give me a goddamned break here, Lord!_

I really had no intention of getting to know this person, whatever her name might be. _Wait did she have a Swedish accent?_ I had to figure out what her game was, so I did a quick scan of her brain. All human was the first thing I got from her and then…

"_...Mr. Northman might have hired me and arranged for my employment here, but I can't for the life of me understand why he'd be so concerned for this girl. It's not like she deserves better care than any of the other patients here. Why is she looking at me that way? Oh well he is paying me $10,000 on top of the pay I get from the hospital. So I better get on with it._"

I flinched at the thought of all the ways he was trying to control me. First having me moved from Texas to here, then the private room and now this.

"Yes Miss Stackhouse, what can I do for you? Are you in any pain?"

Well if she was playing, then I'd better up my game as well.

"Please tell me Nurse Svensson, and please do not lie to me. Are you working for Mr. Northman?" The woman looked utterly baffled at my bluntness.

"Well I – I – Yes, Mr. Northman did arrange for me to personally take care of you during the night, but only because he has your best interest at heart. How did you know?"

"My best interest at heart!" I sneered malevolently.

"He doesn't even have a heart! He's dead for Christ's sake! And how did I know? Well, you have a Swedish name and accent. I'm not stupid you know! I don't mean to be rude, but could you just please get out of here and send somebody else for me to talk to?"

I was rancorous at this point. _Who the hell does he think he is? _

My own personal Nurse Ratched wasn't having any of it. "Well, I'm sorry Miss, but I was assigned to you tonight. So I'm afraid you'll just have to accept my help." She said, sounding a bit miffed.

"Fine"! I exclaimed. "I'm tired and I can't fall asleep. Could I possibly have something to help me with that?"

The nurse raised an eyebrow as if she was waiting for something.

"Please." I said with a slight annoyance. _Bitch!_

"Certainly, Miss Stackhouse. I'll be right back."

She came back quickly with something in a syringe, which she injected into my IV. I have no idea what it was, but it worked like a charm and I was out like a light.

I woke up the next morning with an odd sense of foreboding; something wasn't right. I looked around the room trying to get my bearings. And there it was, right next to me on the side table, the most obscenely large bouquet of deep-dark crimson roses I had ever seen. In the middle of it there was one single white, _perfect_ calla lily. The flowers were breathtaking. There was a champagne coloured card attached to it. I didn't need to read it to know who it was from. Due to the fact that my heart felt like it had turned to stone, I knew the flowers were from Eric. But, for some unknown reason, I reached out for the card and saw his distinguished chirography written with a crimson coloured pen.

_**I will never give up.**_

_**Eric**_

Five little words made my blood boil. I flung out my arm so it connected with the vase - flowers, glass and card scattered on the floor. The card soaked up the water, making the red ink float out so it looked like blood merging with water.

I was starting to panic; my stomach felt like it was about to jump out of my throat. I'm sure the nurses and doctors had heard the shattering of glass and were on their way to assess the situation. I had to get out of there. I did the only rational thing I could think of at that moment – I pulled out the IV with a swift movement…_MOTHER. FUCKER! O_kay, well better quick and painful than slow and painful. However, it might not have been the best thing to do since my hand was now covered in blood. _Fuck it!_

I was about to place my bare feet on the shards of glass that covered the floor, when Nurse Lang, the good Dr. Balleby and…_oh Christ Almighty_…Sam, Alcide, Tray and Calvin Norris bolted in through the door. The next I knew, Alcide had me in a tight grip, pinned down on the bed, while the nurse and doctor tended to my hand. Sam and Tray stood guard on either side of the door and Calvin Norris towed an orderly into the room, ordering him to clean up the mess I had made. Calvin bent down in order to salvage what was left of the flowers.

"No!" I shrieked, struggling to get out of Alcide's death grip.

"You put those flowers back on the floor Calvin Norris! You hear me? They belong in a garbage dump, together with the decaying corpse they came from! As for the four of you, well you can just haul your chameleon asses out of here! Just leave me the hell alone so I can get out of this place."

I was screaming at the top of my lungs – soon somebody would probably put me in a straight jacket and place me in a padded cell. I didn't care.

Nurse Lang and Dr. Balleby had finished patching up my hand, not inserting a new IV _thankyouverymuch_, and left the room on their own accord.

I kept screaming and screaming, clawing at Alcide trying to make him let go of me. Sam was by my side as well and shocked the silence into me when he slapped me clear across the face. The others gasped in surprise.

"Pull yourself together Sookie. What the hell is the matter with you? We're only trying to take care of you."

I looked at Sam's angry yet concerned face and then promptly started to sob uncontrollably.

"Just leave me alone. I don't want you here. I don't need you. _Where have I heard those lines before? Why am I repeating myself? Oh right, nobody listens to a word I say! _Leave or I'll call for security to remove you from the hospital."

Alcide had let go of me and was looking at me bewildered. Sam pulled me into to his arms and just hugged me tightly. I tried to push him away, but I was weak and Sam is a pure-blood shapeshifter so the odds weren't in my favour.

"Oh Cher, don't you know that we are security? We're here to insure nothing happens to you and nobody gets in to see you without our or Eric's approval."

Sam was obviously trying to put me at ease, but it only made it worse. Alcide and Calvin Norris both felt the need to remind me I was a friend of both their packs and it was therefore their duty to assure my safety.

Tray was silent. I knew he resented me for treating Amelia so badly, I could hardly blame him. They spend a long time trying to "talk some sense" into me, as they put it. I just blocked them out. At some point I think they figured out I wasn't listening. Sam kissed my forehead and put me back into the bed and tucked me in.

"Sookie, one of us will always be outside that door if you need us," Sam said as he left with the others. I closed my eyes and fell into a restless sleep.

I woke up in the mid afternoon and saw there was a tray of food on my table. I couldn't remember the last time I ate anything and my stomach was growling. I took a few bites of the tuna sandwich the staff had provided for me, but I didn't get any fulfilment out of eating and frankly it made me want to throw up. I abandoned the idea of eating any more and went back to sleep.

I knew Eric was with me all night. I didn't wake up to see him; I could just feel his presence. Under any other circumstances, Eric being there would probably have been comforting, but it made me feel uneasy and spied on.

The next morning there was another bouquet of flowers. They were the same as the day before – crimson roses and a single white calla lily and of course, a card. I simply got out of bed and threw them in the trash can, not even looking at the card, I knew what it said.

Over the next few days, the nurses and doctors did their jobs, monitoring my progress and told me I was getting better by the day. I mostly ignored them.

I ate only enough to satisfy my immediate hunger, which the doctor thought was adequate.

Although I was sleeping, I knew Eric was there every night. Each morning the same arrangement of flowers was there and each time I threw them out.

I was done fighting everyone. I just gave up and ignored them. To use were terminology; I simply abjured them.

After five days, Dr. Balleby was convinced I could be sent home. That little piece of information was the only good thing that had happened to me in weeks. I just wanted to go home so I could pack up and leave for good.

In the afternoon, an orderly came to take me out to the front desk so I could sign all the insurance papers and be on my way. I was honestly surprised when nobody was there to pick me up, not that I wanted them to at all, I just couldn't believe they had actually decided to listen to me for once. Since, for obvious reasons, I didn't have a car, I decided to take a taxi home. The most expensive taxi ride in the history of Louisiana, I thought. Yet it didn't matter, all I wanted to do was to go home so I could leave again.

On the ride home it felt as if a storm was brewing, not on the weather front, just the whole ride felt eerie. The darkness of night was slowly creeping up behind; it was suffocating me. As the car turned down Hummingbird Road, a sense of panic started to rise inside of me. When we got all the way up to the house it didn't look like anything as wrong, which made me a feel a bit better. This was my home, the one place I was suppose to feel comfortable.

As I walked to the door, I noticed the light was on in the kitchen. _Amelia must have forgotten to turn it off when she moved out,_ I thought, not thinking the better of it.

I walked through the kitchen, taking in the familiar scent of my house; it was soothing. I went through the house and into the living room, turned on the lights…I almost jumped out of my own skin…there they were, all of them, sitting on the couch, on chairs, on the floor and leaning against the wall; Amelia, Tray, Claudine, Niall, Tara, Sam, Jason, Pam, Alcide, Bill, Calvin Norris, Eric and "Bubba!"

I practically threw my arms around his neck and gave him a good squeeze. "How are you, Bubba? It's good to see you again." If there was any person in the world, supe or otherwise, I was always delighted to see no matter the circumstance, it was definitely Bubba. He always had such a kind heart one couldn't help but like him.

"I've been good Miss Sookie. It's good to see ya too. 'ow ya been holdin' up?" He looked just as concerned as the rest of them.

"Oh I'm fine Bubba, a little tired but just fine." I was lying through my teeth. "Bubba I would love to sit and visit with you, but I would really like to go rest. So, if you wouldn't mind stepping aside so I can go to my room. Please."

"Miss Sookie, if ya don' mind me sayin' so, ya don't look fine. I wish I could do as ya ask, but Mr. Eric here told me not to listen to a word ya say tonight. Now these here nice people would like to speak with ya for a minute. Please listen to them Miss Sookie, please?"

My heart stopped; the one person I thought I could count on was in cahoots with the rest of my so-called 'friends'. I felt the acidic sensation of bile creeping up my oesophagus; I wanted to throw up, but I suppressed the urge and instead, decided to focus the tension on the people in the room.

"Who the hell do y'all think you are trespassing on my property like this? You just added breaking and entering to your rap sheets! Now get the hell out of my house, before I call the police!" I screamed, but nobody moved.

"Fine, suit yourselves! Northman, Compton, Pam and Bubba I rescind your invitations into my house FOREVER!" None of the four vampires even so much as flinched. _What the hell?!_ Eric was staring at me intensely, yet remained leaning up against the wall, arms crossed in front of him.

"What the hell is going on here? Why aren't you backing out of the house?" I was completely stunned by the lack of reaction from any of them.

"Well my telepathic friend, our dear witch here and the fairies collaborated on a little spell that would insure something like your little demand there wouldn't have any effect." Pam was grinning widely. _Dead piece of trash!_

"Amelia you traitor, what gives you the right to…to…I told you to leave me house, why are you still here? You know what, never mind, I don't want to hear a fucking word out your mouth. Just get out of my house!"

Tray stood up and began taking a step towards me, but Amelia just put a hand on his arm and made him sit down again. I couldn't possibly describe all the conflicting emotions that were emerging. Everything came crashing down again. All the distance I had tried to put between them and myself the past few weeks was instantly shattered. The only thing I could do was lash out at all of them to make them understand and hopefully they would just give up and leave – if that didn't help, then I would simply just walk straight out the door again and never look back.

"Really Pam, you call me your friend? Whatever happened to vamps before humans? What the hell are you doing here anyways, don't you have some fangbangers to fuck or eat? Oh that's right, you're only here because your _Master_ ordered you to be here. Figures, you wouldn't be able to do anything without him ordering you to do it or consulting Dear Abby first. You're one sorry excuse for a vampire, you know that?"

_Okay Stackhouse probably not the best thing to start out with the one vampire in the house who has absolutely no scruples with ripping your throat out. Nicely done…NOT! _Pam seemed indifferent to my rambling and was, possibly, grinning even more.

"Fine! Y'all have your little tea party here, but don't think I'll sit by and watch you take over another part of my life." I stalked towards the door, but Sam gripped me by the shoulders and yanked me down onto a chair.

"Sookie, sit your ass down and listen to us before you do something stupid…again." _Oh he did not just call me stupid!!_

"Or what Sam? What are you going to do? Slap me across the face again like you did at the hospital?" Well that got_ über-vamp's attention. In a split second Eric had Sam by the throat smashed up against the wall._

_"If you ever lay a hand on my Lover again you filthy mongrel, I will personally see to it that every bone in your body is broken into a million pieces…"_

_Tara, bless her heart, decided to step in. I had no idea why she was here, since I hadn't spoken with her for quite a while. "Now y'all need to sit your testosterone overdosed asses down and act civil. Jesus effin' Christ, you'd think we're in a loony bin with all this craziness going on." Neither Eric nor Sam made a move to back down, which only fuelled her determination more. She went over and grabbed Eric by his shirt collar, trying to get him to let go of Sam. "Eric. Sit. Your. Ass. Down. Or I'm going to start yelling at you to leave just like Sookie here. And Sookie, you need to take a chill pill and listen for a while girl." The whole scene was just so comical that I couldn't help but break out in a fit of laughter. Apparently, I was the only one who could see the humour in it. Tara especially wasn't please with my reaction._

_"Sookie, I said chill! I have no idea what's been going on lately. One day out of the blue, I get a phone call from Amelia telling me you've gone bonkers, wrecked your room, practically attacked Eric and Bill, left town, been in a car crash and was in the hospital in Shreveport. Am I leaving out anything?" I just shook my head and let her continue._

_"Girl, this is so unlike you. I know how much pride you put in being able to take care of yourself, but you've got to let people who love you take care of you sometimes and this is clearly such a time. Which is why we're all here right now – for lack of a better word this is an intervention Sookie and you've got to let us plead our case, after that you can go off on us again if you feel the need. Right now you just need to listen." _

Tara had a point, but they had no idea what the hell I was thinking or going through, so I didn't see the need to sit there and be patronized. "Well you know what Tara? I really don't see how you could possibly know what I need, so I'm just going to get out of here since none of you seem to want to leave _MY_ house."

I was about to get up, but girlfriend wasn't having any of it. "Sookie, I swear if you don't sit your ass down right now, so help me God, I will tie you up and gag you! Now, since it seems I'm the only one here who can keep her cool, I'll be the moderator and you can each take turns telling Sookie here how you feel, but don't make any accusations. Sookie, you'll get your turn to respond in the end." Everybody seemed to agree with her and nodded in recognition, except for me of course.

"Jason would you like to tell your sister how you feel?"

Jason got up from his spot and kneeled down in front of my chair, trying to look me in the eyes. This was clearly an effort on his part since he looked completely out of sorts and pale as a ghost. "Sis, I – I don't know all the details of what's happened, but ever since you got involved with those vampires…"

_uhmm_ Tara cleared her throat. "No accusations Jason."

"…right umm, it just seems like you've lost part of yourself. I'm worried and I love you." He sat back down in his seat with his head in his hands. Claudine gently rubbed his back and whispered something to him.

"Niall, I understand you're related to Sookie in some way, so you're next in line if you want to say something."

The Prince stood up, walked over to me and kneeled down just like Jason did. "My child, I know not what is the matter with you, but if want I will gladly take you to my realm so you can get better. You're very dear to my heart."

Apparently, _über-vamp didn't like Niall's suggestion and openly growled in contempt. _

_"Eric, can it!" Tara yelled, for some reason her new role as chairwoman of this whole mutiny had made her fearless of vampires. __Rock on girl! _

_"Claudine you're next." The fairy came over to me, gave me a kiss on the cheek and went back to her seat. She didn't utter a single word, maybe because she knew that anything said in that room couldn't make me feel better or maybe she just didn't have anything to say to me. Amelia was next, she mirrored Claudine's gesture, but added that she loved me and feared I would hurt myself further if I didn't get any help. Sam agreed with Amelia and told me I could take as much time off from work as I needed, as long as I promised to get better. Alcide and Calvin repeated their speeches from the hospital – I was a friend of both their packs and it was their duty to protect me. Tray was indifferent. That left the big guns of the little gathering and Bubba. _

_Bubba just patted me on the head and said he was going out to find a cat for dinner. I shuddered at the thought, but gave him a slight smile as he left._

_"Eric, Bill, Pam would you like to say something?" Tara asked with a small trace of nervousness in her voice. _

_Pam came over to me and took my head in her hands. I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at her. "Sookie, regardless of what you might think of me, I do consider you a friend. You're one special human." __Well slap me silly did Pan just show she had feelings?_

_Bill came over next, gathered my hands in his, which I promptly pulled away from him. He decided to use the same old exhausted rant about how much he loved me yada yada yada. _

_That only left Eric. I wanted to leave, but was honestly terrified that Tara would make good of her promise and get out the rope and gag, so I stayed put. Acting passive and indifferent was my best chance of surviving the next speech, however long it might take. For a few minutes or so nothing happened, I was starting to panic. Then he walked over to me, kneeled down in front of me like the others had done, but put an arm around my waist and pulled me as close to him as possible. I heard him take a few deep breaths, taking in my scent, before he put his forehead to mine and simply flooded our Bond with emotions and images of us together. I didn't know he could do that, but there is was; all his memories of us together – the first night we met at Fangtasia, the first time we fought side by side, our first kiss, the first time we made love. We were happy together. I was beautiful to him. He was proud of me in Rhodes. He showed me us dancing together; how our hair tangled together when he gently lifted us of off the dance floor. It was all so overwhelming, I could barely breathe. _

_The next he showed me was the night I ran away. Most of it was blurry and confusing, but then I saw and felt what he experienced, when I burned his face. I screamed out in pain and terror and shoved him away from me. _

_I kept screaming and crying like a madwoman. "What the hell did you did you just do to me?! Is that how you see me? Like something out of a fairytale? Like some beautiful princess, who is suddenly possessed by some great evil? Are you going to be my knight in shining armour, who comes to save me from the evil, who comes to save me from myself? Tell me Eric, is that what you see?" Gran's words came echoing back to me with such force I almost fell over._

_"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!"_

_"Well Eric, let me tell you what I see! I see a woman who in her short life has been in constant Hell. I lost my parents when I was a child, my uncle molested me, my Gran was murdered and I have been beaten to within an inch of my death, shot, stabbed, raped by my boyfriend, and kidnapped several times. I have almost been blown up twice in a matter of a few days. I have been pimped out, by __YOU__ because of my telepathic abilities. I have lost friends and loved ones. I have found love and lost it. And then you come here thinking you can fix me! You can't, don't you see I'm damaged? I have nothing left. Nothing at all! I can't breathe! I'm falling and I can't find a foothold!! Everything is falling apart!"_

_I fell to the floor; exhausted and absolutely defeated. Eric sat down next to me and picked me up in his lap – gently rocking us back and forth._

_"Leave." He said to the others, who seemed to disappear without a sound._

_We just sat on the floor rocking back and forth._


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to update, but it's been a crazy few weeks. I want to take the opportunity to thank everybody for the great reviews – I didn't expect people would enjoy my story. _

_As always I don't own anything. Charlaine Harris created these wonderful characters, I just play tricks with them._

**Chapter 5**

I don't know how long we sat on the floor. Eric kept rocking me in his arms, stroking my hair. The tears wouldn't stop. My entire body was shaking from exhaustion and shock - Eric had broken down all my barriers. I wanted to leave, just leaving everything behind, but I couldn't. First of all, it was physically impossible to move my body in the state I was in. Secondly, Eric had just shown me everything he felt; he loved me. At this point I couldn't recollect why I had ever doubted him.

_Why hadn't he told me before or at least given me the smallest indication of his feelings? Why did he wait until I'd done everything possible to push him away, only to reel me back in and shatter my existence? How could he participate in taking everything away from me, only to give it back at this very moment…? _

I couldn't think anymore. My thoughts were becoming incoherent. A new wave of tears washed over me – Eric held me tighter and let love seep through the Bond.

"No, please!" I wailed. "I can't take anymore!"

Eric let out a silent sigh and closed the Bond again, but never once did he let go of me or stop trying to soothe me with his touch.

At some point he lifted us off of the floor and I clung to him, afraid he was going to let go of me. As much as I had tried to push him out of my life, his embrace was the only thing keeping me from falling into the dark oblivion that I, a mere few hours ago, had sought and thought of as my only solace and salvation.

Instead of letting go of me, he held me tighter. Taking Gran's old afghan from the couch, he cradled me in it as if I was the most treasured thing on this Earth.

He walked, carrying me in his arms, out of my house and within a few seconds we were airborne.

Time passed differently when we were flying; perhaps I even fell asleep for a while. I felt us slowly descending and eventually touch ground. I stirred around in Eric's arms trying to figure out where we were, but his arms shielded my face so I wasn't able to see. I suppose he felt my uneasiness.

"My house," he whispered softly.

I thought maybe he had taken us to Fangtasia or even some hotel that catered to vampires' needs, but not in a million years would I have thought he would take me to his house. Vampires are very protective of their resting places – all in all it's the only place where they are most safe and at the same time the most vulnerable. If Eric trusted me enough to take me to his house, then I had to show him the same courtesy and trust him to take care of me.

As much as I hated depending on others, I guess Tara was right – I had to let him take care of me. I had to swallow my pride and control.

I didn't know how to let go without fear of falling all over again.

He carried me inside. The house seemed impossibly large, but I still couldn't see anything. He continued up a flight of stairs, and down a long hallway, before stopping in front of a pair of double doors. Shifting my body so he was holding me in one of his arms, he opened the door and carried me into the dark room.

Eric walked across the room and lay me down on what I assumed to be a bed and sat next to me – the bedspread was cold to the touch and made me shiver. He leaned over and turned on a lamp on the night stand. In all the time that had passed since the intervention at the house, I still hadn't looked him in the eyes. I couldn't, I felt so ashamed.

I wish I could say something to him, tell him I wanted him to make things better. I wish I could open the Bond and let him in again, but I couldn't. Everything still hurt so much, and I didn't think I would survive another fall.

Eric brushed a stay hair from my forehead and cupped my face as he trailed his hand down my face. He let his hand linger for a moment before he got up and walked towards another set of doors to the right of the bed.

Eric didn't turn on a light in the other room as he entered, of course he didn't need to, but the darkness made me uneasy. Then I heard his voice, he was speaking to somebody on the phone. The conversation was over too fast for me to make out anything that was said.

After a while, I saw a faint gleam of light emerge from the room and then the sound of water running. I crawled off the bed and walked to the doors. Even though the doors were partially open, I didn't want to just barge in and interrupt him, so I knocked before I entered. The bathroom was magnificent. The light I had seen from the bedroom came from an abundance of white candles placed strategically around the room. Their soft light made the black marble that covered the entire room shimmer like millions of diamonds.

To the right of the door there was a double vanity made of the same marble as the rest of the room. The corner furthest from the doors was made into a huge frosted glass enclosed shower with room enough for five people. The west facing wall was made up entirely of mahogany French doors, which were open to the night air. In the middle of the room there was an infinity tub, slightly embedded into the floor. Eric was kneeling on the floor pouring scented bath oil into the water.

I inhaled deeply…_lavender_. There was a light breeze, fragrant with night flowering jasmine, flowing into the room through the open doors.

I don't know how long I had been standing in the doorway before Eric stood up and came towards me. As he stood before me, he placed his hands on either side of my arms, gently rubbing them and placed a kiss on top of my head. He let his hands trail down my sides and started to undress me, removing my shirt first. Then my jeans, lightly lifting each foot so he could remove them completely. Lastly, he removed my underwear. There was no reason to feel bashful; he had seen me naked several times before. Yet, I couldn't help feeling slightly uncomfortable, not because of my exposed skin, but because he had now eradicated everything for me to hide behind. Every single thing I had control over was now gone and Eric was the only one there to help me regain my old self, and I let him.

He carried me over to the tub and placed me into the warm water. Kneeling down beside the tub, he proceeded to wash me with a bath sponge. He started with my shoulders and arms, before moving to my stomach and legs. I leaned forward when he motioned to me so he could wash my back. He finished by washing my hair. There was nothing sexual in his action; he simply took it upon himself to care for me.

After he had finished me hair, I leaned back, closing my eyes and let the calming effect of the water take over. I felt him rise and leave the room. It could have been minutes or hours before he returned, but it didn't matter. He held out a hand to help me out of the tub, wrapped me in a large white fluffy towel and looked over to a chaise, where he had left a cream coloured flannel pyjama set and then left the bathroom again. I got dressed, dried out my hair and walked in to the bedroom.

Eric was sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees and resting his head in hands. On the bedside table there was a plate with a sandwich and a glass of milk. Apparently the call he had made earlier was to Pam or one of his other people, who had come by with food and clothes for me while we were in the bathroom.

I sat down next to him and started eating. After I'd finished my meal, I placed the plate and glass back on the table. We just sat there for a while. Neither of us had said anything to each other since we got to his house.

Eric took my hands in his, pulled me off the bed and turned down the covers. I lay down on the bed, and Eric tucked the covers tightly around me, and then bent down to kiss my forehead. He rose to his full height again and made to turn around.

I knew if I spoke, whatever came out of my mouth wouldn't make sense, but I didn't want him to leave. I grabbed his hand and held it tight. He looked down at our entwined hands and nodded. He got undressed and slipped into the bed on the other side. I turned around, facing him and finally looked into his eyes.

I had never seen Eric tired before. Vampires don't get tired like humans do, but that was what he looked like, completely exhausted. I put his arm around my waist and pulled myself into his chest. Somehow our bodies had always fit perfectly together, something I had taken for granted the entire time I'd known him.

He nuzzled his face into my hair, taking slow and deliberate breaths.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into my ear.

That night I cried myself to sleep in his arms.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: If you didn't know already, well let me tell you, Sookie and Eric are two very, very stubborn individuals – as am I. They don't play fair or nice and the three of us had a few arguments during the development of this chapter. However, I think we reached an understanding in the end.

Txone, my wonderful beta, thank you for your kind words and patience.

I own nothing. Ms. Harris own all the characters, I just hope she doesn't mind that I borrow them from time to time.

***

**Chapter 6**

I think I know the mechanics of vampire sleep better now.

I didn't know what time it was when I woke up. I had expected to wake up feeling Eric's cool body next to mine, instead I felt comfortably warm. I had expected to wake up in a sunlit room, but instead it was dark and filled with the same jasmine scented night air I had smelt the night before.

I assumed I was in Eric's bedroom so the darkened room made sense. He probably had light proof windows installed in all the rooms.

I rolled over on my side and turned on the lamp. There was a sting of pain in my heart when I noticed Eric wasn't there. Noticing I was wrapped, snug as a bug, in Gran's old afghan, I curled back under the covers. My mind drifted back to last night – Eric had bathed me, fed me and held me as I cried myself to sleep. He had done everything he possibly could to take care of me, and all I had done was to push him away…It hit me like a ton of bricks – all I had done was push him away…and burnt his face with silver. Vomit crept up my oesophagus. I bolted out of the room and into the bedroom fast enough before I spilled the minimal contents of my stomach.

After a few minutes I had regained enough composure to stand up. I turned towards the bedroom, only to see Eric standing in the doorway. I couldn't read his face – it was blank, almost like the void I register from the vampires' minds…_why didn't I register the void from Eric?_ I couldn't look at him, so I stomped over to the door and slammed it in his face. I slumped down on the floor, my back against the door. There was a single loud thud as if Eric had pounded his fist against the door and then nothing.

Closing my eyes, I rested me head on my knees. Flashes of me burning his face emerged behind my eyelids. I growled in frustration, got up and discarded my pyjamas. Deciding to take a shower, I hoped the warm water would have a soothing effect like the night before.

The water washed over my body, yet the tension wasn't subsiding. The images of Eric's face came back with a vengeance, I could even smell it.

I gave up on the notion of relaxing, and got out of the shower, quickly drying the water off. Since I hadn't brought my clothes, I wrapped myself in a towel. I found a toothbrush and some toothpaste next to the sink, and brushed my teeth twice for good measure.

Approaching the door, I stopped to take a few cleansing breaths before I re-entered the bedroom. I hoped Eric wouldn't be there, but I knew I had to face him sooner or later, I just wasn't ready yet.

Eric wasn't there…_thank God. _I didn't have any clean clothes or if I did, I didn't know where they were and I didn't recall Eric bringing anything from my house. I went ahead and put on my clothes from the day before.

The lamp on the bedside table was still the only light on in the room. I couldn't bring myself to turn on more light. Eric had brought me to his house, which I'm sure nobody but a few selected and trusted people knew the location of. I didn't want to go snooping around without his permission I was content with the darkness for now. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I noticed a set of French doors identical to the ones in the bathroom, and they were opened, allowing a faint light from the moon into the room. However, it wasn't enough for me to see anything except for the bed, which was huge.

Turns out I was right. I don't know what I'd imagined the back of Eric's house and property would look like, but this was far beyond anything I could ever have come up with – it was breathtaking. The entire second floor of the back façade of the house was wrapped in a large, black marble balcony complete with black iron railing. The garden, or park would probably be a better word for it, was covered with a lush green lawn, which from the light of the full moon looked like silver_…silver…I…I burned his face…_

I couldn't deal with anymore images of what happened. I ran back into the bedroom, out the door and down the stairs. I didn't know where I was going, but I just needed to get out of the house. It felt as if the walls were closing in on me, suffocating me. I ran through room after room, before I finally made it to the kitchen. Eric was standing behind the kitchen island reading a newspaper, but I didn't stop. There was a door at the back of the room I hoped led out to the garden, to my luck it did.

From the balcony I'd seen there was a vast lake at the bottom of the park; it was my goal. I sprinted as fast as my legs would carry me and finally made it to the edge of the lake. I stood there, looking out over the water breathing heavily. What the hell was wrong with me? What could possibly have possessed me to do such a thing?

I didn't hear Eric come up behind me, even though the Bond was closed from both our sides, I knew he was there.

"The lake is beautiful." I said.

I didn't turn around to look at him – I couldn't. The thought of looking into his beautiful face, knowing what I had done, was enough to make me fall apart all over again. I wasn't going to allow myself to do that again, not at that point at least.

I hadn't spoken a word since the night before at the house. I wanted to come up with something more meaningful than commenting on the scenery, but how do you relate the disgust you feel for yourself? I'd hurt Eric gruesomely. Yes, he'd hurt me too. Yes, he'd used me. But he was also the one person who had done everything for me in the past, as well as the present and I couldn't even muster up the strength to look him in the eyes.

Neither of us spoke for what seemed like hours. The silence was overpowering and ear deafening. I had wanted the silence. I had wanted to go deaf and mute so I wouldn't have to hear what my friends, if they even were that anymore, and my family had to say. I wanted my voice to be taken away so I wouldn't have to relay over and over again what had happened, why I did what I did. Most of all, I wanted it to be gone so I wouldn't have to speak to Eric again. But the silence was burning a hole through me. If Eric didn't want to speak that would be okay, but I needed to.

"I…I hurt you. I burned your face. I burned your face with silver." The tears I had hoped would say away, started to well up in the corner of my eyes, trickling down my cheeks.

"I heal fast," was all Eric said. But he did say something, which, to tell the truth was a relief. I didn't know if it was just a statement or if he, for some reason unknown to me, didn't think my actions were as serious as I made them to be in my head.

I killed Debbie Pelt, something I had to live with every day for the rest of my life and I had made peace with that. There would be no physical evidence of what I had done to Eric, but having to look him in the face for whatever time we might have together with the knowledge of what I had done made my heart break all over again. I didn't expect anything from him, but I needed him to know I was sorry. Truthfully, I didn't think anything could make up for it. For the first time in weeks, I was resolved to have this out one way or another. I took a deep breath and tried to prepare for whatever would happen next.

"I used one of your few weaknesses against you. It's unforgivable."

"I forgave you the second you did it." He said with a low indifferent sounding tone. The über-vamp was back it seemed.

I couldn't believe what he just said; maybe I had gone insane. How could he be so blasé about it? The tears stopped abruptly and the same kind of rage that had made me burn his face in the first place, was slowly building up inside of me again. I spun around to look at him. His posture looked as indifferent as his voice sounded; hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, his shoulder and back rigid. If he hadn't spoken seconds before, I would have thought his was in his vampire down time. His face and eyes were expressionless. If he wasn't a vampire, I don't think he would have registered I was looking at him, but being the vampire Eric is, I'm sure he didn't miss a beat. Yet, he didn't look at me.

"Look at me!" I yelled. "Look at me, Eric!"

He slowly lowered his gaze to meet my eyes. I almost took a step back in surprise. His eyes were hard as stone and nearly black. Well, I wasn't going to let him go all superior on me again.

"How can you forgive me for something like that? I can't even forgive myself for what I've done. Had I been any other person you would have killed me on the spot! You didn't do anything. The Eric I know, or knew, wouldn't have stood by for anything like that!" I spat.

"Sookie, you were not yourself. You are not yourself." He uttered with the same indifferent voice.

"Well whoop-de-do, did you just figure that out now Mr. High-And-Mighty? You deserve a prize – Vamp of the Year maybe. Did you not hear anything I said at all last night? Did you not hear what I told you weeks ago? Everything is falling apart! You're damn straight I'm not myself! The old Sookie is dead and gone! I don't know who I am anymore!" I vented.

I wouldn't have been surprised at all if smoke was coming out of my ears and I was breathing fire. It took every ounce of restraint I had not to throw myself at him and beat the hell out of him, not that it would do any good and I would probably end up in the hospital again if I did.

Then Eric did something completely unexpected; he smiled. It was the most sincere and genuine smile I'd ever seen form on his lips, the smile even reach his eyes. He put a hand on each of my shoulders and looked directly into my eyes.

"Maybe it is time we found the real Sookie then?" He said softly.

_Eric Northman you sly bastard_.

"Eric Northman, you manipulative, devious über-vamp! Did you just pretend to be completely nonchalant to get me to…I don't know?" I was half snorting with contempt and half laughing. I swear Eric's mood swings were worse than mine.

Eric roared with laughter; it was the single most magnificent sound I had heard for weeks.

"Really Sookie, 'über-vamp'? I like that." He raised an eyebrow and continued to laugh.

I couldn't help laughing a little myself, it was really very liberating. But I still needed some answers.

"Why did you forgive me?"

Eric removed his hands from my shoulders and cupped my face, slowly leaning forward and placed his lips close to my ear.

"Because I love you," he whispered softly, moving his lips to my forehead and kissed it.

The cat was out of the bag now; yet again I was unable to speak and tears were running down my face. Eric brushed his thumbs across my cheeks to remove the salty liquid and smiled.

"Come, I think it is about high time I showed you my home. Pam is on her way with some fresh clothes and food for you."

I froze. _Oh no not Pam, I was such a bitch to her. She's probably going to drain me dry when she sees me._ Eric sensed my uneasiness.

"Sookie, it's going to be fine. It seems _you_ do not remember what my child told you last night; she is your friend. It is going to be fine." He scooped me up in his arms and was about to take off flying towards the house.

"Eric, stop…I mean do you think we could walk back to the house. You could start by showing me the garden." Eric put me down, laced his fingers through mine and we walked towards the house.

I had no idea what was going to happen from this point on, but somehow it felt as if a huge stone had been lifted from my shoulders. Nothing was ever going to be the same again, but for now that was alright. Figuring out how to move on from here was going to be hard, scary and confusing, but I wasn't alone.

***

A/N: So there, just a teeny tiny bit more from the angst department. So what do you think? I am now a full-blown review addict and I'm proud of it! Review, and you shall be rewarded.


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